Feeling Safe and Balanced

What Keeps you Balanced?

There shouldn't be any real reason for my positive change in mood. I don't feel like throwing up so much but I still feel bloated every time I eat. This means instead of eating for 2, I've been reduced to eating for 3/4ths of a person. To cope and make sure we all get enough, I've taken to snacking on dried prunes, nuts, fruit, ikan billis, lavender-orange ice cream (which is what we're driving to get in this picture) and yoghurt.

I'm not as tired as before but then again, it could be attributed to the fact that I've been resting all week. Just walking at a steady pace through a crowded shopping mall left me winded today. Not like I'm the kind to run a marathon but I used to be able to a half hour of medium intensity exercise without feeling like my heart was going to pop out of my chest. I'm beginning to 'show', although the baby at this point is really only 10cm long which makes the whole lot of extra padding down there really disconcerting. By the time the baby is born I should have gained anywhere from 25 to 35 pounds. A baby is really only between 7 to 9 pounds which means the rest is ambiotic fluid, placenta and 'padding'...sigh.

Still, it's good to have a definite in your life. Most of us have our paths laid out for us in early life. It's school, job, independence from parents, house, car...but then what? I know it seems trite but I was starting to think I had achieved most of what I wanted in life. Nice place to live, husband whom I love, enough cash to cover my needs and wants. The only thing missing was a real sense of pupose and fulfillment. Of course I'm connected to people whom I love and who give my life meaning but I kinda wanted something more. Not that I wanted to envangelise, fight deforestation or build schools in neighbouring developing countries. I'm sure those are all noble causes but I feel as if I already fight the good war on the home front. Fellow teachers will know what I mean.

So I was beginning to ponder what to do next with my life. Sometimes, having total freedom to do what you want with your life can be a little scary. It's totally up to you. You choose your own path but it's the uncertainty of the what could happen that scares me. Somehow for me, it's always been about opportunity cost. If I make a decision to chase one course of action, have I missed out on something else of value? It's strange how I used to think that in having children I'd be giving up, no sacrificing, a whole lot of things. Perhaps, right until we found out we had a baby, I still felt that way. Recently though, I've been feeling safe and peaceful. It's as if I'm 6, enjoying life at school and looking forward to fried chicken wings, curling up with a book in my bedroom and then torturing my baby sister. Hee Hee.


The supplements

From left to right: The metallic foil pills are calcium which is literally like eating chalk because I have to chew them first. The bottle contains multi-vits and minerals. The rounded ping pong pills are progestrone, for my strained muscles. The pills in the centre are for wind. The capsules are DHA for brain development (baby's brain, not mine).


Just an Update on the Landscape

Well, they've finallly attached all the viewing capsule-pod-whatevers onto the wheel.

Since we were in the Marina area, I took some photos. The picture above was taken from inside Marina Shopping Centre to give you some perspective how big the thing is.

These were taken while driving past in the car. They unveiled the viewing pods only this week. Last week they were wrapped tightly in plastic sheets. I believe the first 3 months of operation for this thing are fully booked. Although, I have no idea when that will be.