Joy of Joy

Caity walked yesterday. Gine propped her up on the back of the sofa and she managed to toddle 4 steps forward! This is bittersweet for me I guess. I know that pretty soon she'll be running around the house and I'll have to jump up and down to catch her. At the same time, I've been waiting for a long time for her to walk.

 

 

Ovarian Cysts & Weight Gain

Well, went to see my Gynae this week. Unfortunately the cysts are back. The condition causes weight gain and the weight gain makes the cysts worse so it's a looping cycle. I've been asked by my doctor to lose about 10% of my current body weight (about 6 kg). That's a lot or hard work.

Remember that when I conceived Caity, it was a time when my weight was down. I'd been working out 3 times a week and watching my food intake. Well, no excuses now. Gotta "feel the burn". Luckily, weight loss is 70% diet. Yes, Yes, I've been having too many bubble milk teas and late night ice cream recently. It's just that working full time and being a mom full time leave you feeling so emotionally depleted. People always ask who's taking Caity when I'm at work. Well, she's well taken care of my MIL but even so I feel guilty only seeing her from 6 pm to 6 am on week days. Fortunately, I've got the school hols and teaching follows a seasonal pattern of intense and breathable periods.

Back to the weight loss. The main thing is that I'm trying not to skip meals. This week I've been going to the canteen and eating fruits if I've only got a half hour break. Also, been trying to incorporate 20 min workouts here and there. Another way is to combine childcare with workouts. Last night we walked for 20 mins with Caity in the pram. It's good for her to observe other people out and about. I've noticed that my pants, although still tight, are a little looser.

Next step, buy one of those body composition weighing machines so I can *gulp* face reality. I hadn't weighed myself since Caitlin was 2 months. Then two weeks ago, I went for a free fitness assessment at my nearby gym. I left with this dazed feeling. My BMI is in the obese range. Also, I have the abdominal strength of a weak-batteried pencil sharpener. Couldn't even do a proper curl up. Good news is that I can still do 20 push ups (probably have lots of upper body strength from carrying Caitlin everywhere).

Well...sigh...a little self-restraint in the ice cream department is well...going to suck. Better start doing more crunches. *Sniff*

14 months

Doctor's visit and shots

Baby is happy, healthy and finally putting on some weight again. Since the doctor's visit a month ago, she's put on 500g to about 8.5kg now. Small for her age, I'm hoping she'll have another growth spurt. Luckily, her head is a normal size and she's average height. I really hope Caity gets her height from her father and not from me.

She was so cute. The minute we walked into the doctor's office, she started crying because she recognised the doctor from our numerous visits in May. She really clung to me for dear life and wouldn't stop crying. Poor thing.

Made use of our effective 1 week break to bring her out. Managed to visit the zoo and the Marina Barrage. Since the flu outbreak started we've been grounded in Singapore. Personally, I probably don't want to risk it either.

Marina Barrage (above)
Zoo (above)

Reflection on Bf-ing

I was emailing Rene who's a new mother. She's just starting her breastfeeding journey with Baby Ryan. Well, yes bfing is a journey for me that's still going on.

Let's see. I started with little production the first few weeks, sore nipples and lots of frustration. Then it got better between the 3 to 4th months but by that time I had to start work and hence was pumping even when I had full 9 period days and the only slot I had for pumping the milk was during my recess break. That was tough. By that time I also had an oversupply (slightly) because if I didn't express milk for more than 4 hours, my breasts would get really full like a rock. Also, just at the thought of Caitlin I'd let down. Hence breast pads were essential. Even then, some days they'd be so full that they'd drop into the bin with a heavy thud once I threw them away. Then came all the pressure from MIL to quit once Caitlin hit 10 months because Caitlin was so attached to me not only because I'm her Mommy but because she sees me as a major source of food and comfort. I myself felt worn because she wouldn't give me any peace. It's like a drug addict who needs a fix. The moment I walked through the door she would insist on sticking to me and whining until she got fed. I decided to wean at 12 months and it's been a SLOW SLOW process. Mainly because I don't want to do the cold turkey method and traumatize her. The other side of it was that bfing had become such an important part of our relationship that I knew I myself would miss it once it ended. However, I decided that she has to be weaned because her intake of bmilk was interferring with her intake of solids. There were many times where she'd get so carried away with the bmilk that she wouldn't be hungry for proper food or she'd see me and then lose interest in eating because she'd want the breast.

Now at 14 months, Caitlin's slowly coming round to eating solids and bottle milk and only bfing for comfort. I'm letting go emtionally as well and have had more time to change my focus a little. All in all, I've felt fortunate to stuck in there for so long and had time to bond with my infant in this manner. I mean, many women who want to continue have had their milk supply dry up. I can't say for sure whether bmilk is the wonder food that they say it is. However, Caitlin only fell sick once for the first 8 months of her life. Only when I started cutting back on the bmilk that she fell sick more. So yes, I think all women should be given a medal for breastfeeding. There were many time when I just was so proud of myself for making it this far and I'm still going.

Part of what has helped the weaning process is that Caity has learned how to sleep on her own without the breast in her mouth. So at night, I'll feed her for 5 minutes just for comfort's sake and then pull away (same for naps but only if she asks for it). My milk supply has come down considerably to the point where I don't think it can satisfy her hunger in a single feed anymore. In the middle of the night if she wakes fully she'll want the breast but will similarly be satisfied after 5 mintues and go back to sleep. Sometimes I just ignore her whining and she'll automatically fall asleep on her own. An unexpected behaviour from all this is that she's extra clingy in the day and she won't sleep in the crib on her own. I realise that if I don't spend a lot of time with her during the day, she'll want my physical closeness more in the evening and at night.

Another dear friend continued bfing past 20 months. She too felt it was easier to continue until her toddler no longer needed it. Unfortunately, by then toddlers are more set in their ways and can articluate a lot better making it harder to stop.

I think the day I finally give it up, it will be a sad and happy day but hopefully since I'm weaning so graudually, I won't have any regrets.

Baby's diet

I've been doing research on the Macrobiotic diet. It was developed by a Japanese guy where 60% neutral whole grain foods (like brown rice) 30% vege and 10% meat. Also recommended for cancer patients.

I learned how to do this from my mother in law's maid who has been cooking the porridge for my niece who was always at the top of the height and weight chart for her age group. She not overweight by any means. She's got a little belly becuase she's always hungry but she's very tall, healthy and intelligent.

Here's the recipie:

A handful of brown rice & "gei-ji" (wolfberry--good for eyes). About a cup of water. Bring to a boil for half an hour.
Then put in a small slace of lean pork or beef (about 1/4 of your palm and 2cm thick). Turn the fire down to simmering.
2 hours later put in chopped root veges or green veges of choice (I just use about the same as the rice) and a piece of fish.
A dash of really good quality, low sodium soya sauce to bring out the taste of the meat.
Take out the meat before serving. The fish should dissolve.
All the nutrients should have gone into the "soup". No need to strain because the whole thing will become like cantonese "djok" porridge. The rice will swell and the veges will become soft and mushy.

I bought a very small slow cooker. If done in the slow cooker, I just put in the rice first thing in the morning on high setting. Then I just leave it on that setting and let it bubble away adding the meat once the rice has boiled. By noon, the porridge is ready. I serve it for lunch and dinner.

Okay, I know it takes forever but the resulting porridge smells so tasty.

Baby's still very fussy about food but I'm happy to report that she no longer sees me as her major food source and can now fall asleep on her own. I just feed her in the morning to clear my milk supply and once more in the evening before bed. However, I pull away while she's still awake and she then tosses and turns till she's asleep.

She's super interested in whatever we adults are eating. This is good because if we eat healthy, she will too. I just worry about the amount of salt in the food sometimes.

Urine & Singing in the car

Baby's sick again! She's been having a fever on and off for the last 3 days. It's so sickening. Luckily it's not a high fever.

Becuase the suspects a urinary tract infection, she made Baby wear a pee bag which is this small bag with a sticky mouth to be taped to the skin of the pokey. Poor Vin spent the entire morning at the doc's office just waiting for our daughter to pee. In the end, he gave up and came home. She refused to pee. Then when she did, the pee wet the whole bag which moistened the sticky part thereby dislodging when she moved. Apparently, you're supposed to hold her upright all the time so you can "catch" the pee. Whoever invented this system of collected a toddler's urine is a moron because which toddler stays still for that long? Anyway, I returned home from work to find a frustrated husband and a baby whose urine, up till now, remains ellusive. We'll try again in the morning to hunt for the pee. However, all three of us (yes including the maid) are in disagreement over how to ensure that Baby either pees into the plastic bag or into a plastic cup. I say we let her run around the balcony without her nappy and watch her really closely then when she gets the shivers rush in with the plastic cup in hand. Vin says that won't work because she'll only shiver post-pee; not before. We can't even lay a plastic sheet on the ground to collect the urine as we have to make sure the sample is uncontaminated. Sigh, only being a parent could make a person so obsessed with urine.

Oh, we were in the car just now and I started singing to Baby. I realised that it's a wonderful way to introduce vocabulary. I'll sing and she'll watch my mouth really intently. I'll go "When you're happy and you know it ..." She'll then clap her hands, shake her head and raise her arms at the appropriate part of the song.

I made little word tags so that I could tape them to everything and show her words of things around the house. She was more interested in throwing the tags in the air and pushing them around on the floor. Oh well, one step at a time. Vin held up the word "Cat" and she immediately said "Kaaa". "Cat" is her first real word because we point the one that lives at the base of our block out to her almost every day. Perhaps its fitting since we both love cats. Not really sure if she really was reading the word since she says "Kaa" or "Paa" to almost everything. Unless, that is, when you ask her a question in which case she'll immediately shake her head.

5th year wedding anniversary

Been cracking my head what to get Vin for our 5th year anniversary which was over 2 months ago. He gave me a diamond pendant. Didn't tell me about it and it was a total surprise. I totally melted.

 

The problem is, it's so difficult to shop for men. Plus, with baby to take care of it's not like I have tons of time to go shopping. The thing is, I want something that lasts a really long time, maybe another 5 to 10 years. Not something that will break down after 3 or 4 years like a laptop or a handphone. Vin's complained that I haven't bought him anything yet. Seriously, I just haven't had the time to really look for anything special and I can't think of anything worth getting him that he would appreciate. Having said all that, I think I've just been tired and I haven't taken time out for myself or for getting Vin a special gift.

 

Sigh

Flying Kiss

2 days ago Caity finally did a flying kiss. I've been doing it for 2 months on and off now. I did it one night repeatedly while b-feeding her using her hands on my mouth and then doing it with my own hand. "Flying kiss (hand covering my mouth)...Muah! (flourish when hand comes off the mouth)"

 

So the next evening, I think on Monday, when I said "flying kiss" she raised her hand up to her open mouth and let it fall again. Ahhh! I got so excited. I was jumping up and down squeeling in delight. Ahh...the miracles of learning.

Musical baby

Caity likes music. Vin's singing "Lips" on his xbox and Caity's sorta dancing to the music. She shakes her head and sways from side to side. She'll also wave her hand round and round. 

Getting bigger

There's actually a lot of things I don't have to worry about now that Caity's bigger. I don't have to worry so much about religiously keeping things clean. In another few months I'll probably stop sterilizing her bottles. Also, don't have a worry about pumping milk anymore. Can't believe I did that for  7 to 8 months. As she grows older she'll probably be able to take the bottle to fall asleep. Although she's still pretty dependent suckling first. I don't have to constantly entertain her myself anymore either. She can entertain herself by herself much better now. I'll either let her loose amongst her toys or she'll be happy in front of the TV with a video (although I read that you're not supposed to do that so I've cut back on it at home). I also don't have to carry her everywhere anymore. Caity's getting better at crawling. She only whines when she wants to be carried but not because she gets frustrated at not being mobile. 

What do I worry about now? 

When she gets sick it's not fun for anyone. She's a lot more mobile so that means running around to make sure she doesn't hurt herself. Just the other night, Vin was sitting next to her and she still managed to fall off the sofa. I'm thinking it may be time to try some sort of play group just for a few weeks. During the holidays I'll probably start teaching her different nouns and take her out more. 

I wonder if I'll be able to cope at work. Maybe what needs to happen is that I have to cut back more at work. Adjust my expectations. 

We'll see.

Birthday pictures

Caity at the second party enjoying her walnut-less birthday cake. I'm so glad I made them both. Many babies only get to smell their first cake.

The second cake I made (above and below). This time I sensibly only made one cake tin and cut that in half. The sprinkles were also haphazzardly thrown on top.

I wanted to hire a professional photographer but Vin insisted on veto-ing the idea. He said he would take pictures of me instead.

This monster is two cake tins worth of carrot cake (this time I used a machine to grate 700g worth). Both cakes are cut into 2 so there are 4 layers of cream cheese in between. The "one" candle was bought by Aunty Djin again. Vin's idea to put the cup cake on top. I thought it was cheesy to do that but apparently, it turned out quite attractive.

My first ever carrot cupcake that I made for Caity. The sprinkles were bought by Aunty Djin and they actually come in many different colours all mixed up (below) but I arranged them purple-pink-orange-yellow-white. Yes, I admit it, I'm anal.

Why non nutty birthday cake

Yes, baby's are allergic to nuts. There's many many things that we can't feed Caity yet. In fact, I was taking a risk with the cake because even though I didn't put walnuts in it, there was still ground nutmeg. Also whole eggs which you're not supposed to give baby till they turn 1.

Window of opportunity

Caity has now started picking up words really fast. She will respond when we say something and repeat it over and over.

 

In 2 days, she's learned how to "kiss". Yesterday she was reading with Daddy and kissing every page. The day before she started kissing me when I asked her to. Of course she can't yet purse her lips so the kiss is a open mouth slobber.

 

I wonder when's the right time to bring her for classes. Initially we planned to do all of her developmental learning on our own--both teachers right--but now I wonder if we have the energy left over after work and tending to Caity's basic needs.

 

The new maid's not too bad. However, there are some things I take for granted which are totally alien to her. This morning she put the blender on the No. 2 setting thinking that "2" represented 2 minutes. Hence, she was waiting for the "timer" to run down. It makes sense right? the setting was represented on a dial and not on buttons. Luckily Vin came along caught her staring blankly at the blender. Sigh!

Updates at the 1 year mark

I can't believe it. Caity will be a year old this Thursday.

 

We celebrated twice over the weekend. Once at Vin's parent's place and once at my grandparents place. The reason why we had to have 2 parties is a long and complicated story. The thing is both of us almost killed ourselves making the parties happen. I have been so busy at work, Gary had to remind me to call everyone from the Lai side of the family. I'm glad he did. My grandparents seemed to enjoy themselves, M sok enjoyed cooking for everyone and I enjoyed seeing Brannon play with Caitlin again.

 

Spent the weekend cooking 2 cakes in 2 days. The first cake was completely over done and shall never be repeated ever ever again. It was a 4 layer tower with cream cheese icing in between  and decorations around the side. I even made 2 mini cupcake versions without nuts for the baby guests like Brannon and Billy's kid.

 

Poor Caity was so tired from the first party on Saturday that she fell asleep in the car on the way to the second party on Sunday. When she finally woke up, she was grumpy and not in the mood to socialize. It wasn't until later when she was playing with Brannon in the bedroom that she warmed up and started to enjoy her own birthday.

 

Such a darling little girl. Everything she does is a delight. I'll ask her, "Baby, where's your nose?" And she'll pinch my nose. "Where's the cat?" and she'll go "Kker". She says "cgoo" for "cold" when I bring a glass of cold water to my lips. "Shake" and she'll shake her head. She even dances in front of the TV when Kelvin's going at his guitar hero. She'll shake her head and twirl her hand in the air.

 

I love my little girl.

 

She's starting to have an opinion and she's very particular about food.

 

Breastfeeding is still going on. I'm giving in to her more because she's sick at the moment. She still wakes up at least once a night. More out of habit than anything. My dirty little secret is that I don't want our special time to end. Completely weaning her would mean that I can start living more of my own life. However, most of my life revolves around her anyway. I don't even remember what it was like before. Vin and I still sneak away from time to time. We try to spend some time together, just the two of us.

 

All in all, Caity's developing well and she's healthy. I would like for her to be a bit heavier and have less allergies but I'll sure she'll come along.

 

 

1st week back at work

Some updates:

Caitlin's been rather busy lately. More teeth are coming out so she's trying to bite everything and drooling over everything else. Sleepwise, she's down to 1 night feeding half of the time. If her gums feel really painful she'll wake. If not, she can and has slept through an 8 hour stretch. This means she can put herself back to sleep.

Caitlin's eating consistently 2 meals of solids a day. It ranges from 6 to 12 teaspoonfuls of porridge. If she's sleepy or not in the mood, she'll eat maybe 4 teaspoons. So far I've made her carrots, broccoli, sweet potatoe, peas, fresh corn, cauliflower and spinach steamed, strained and frozen back into ice cube trays. Then 2 kinds of veges are popped into the daily porridge of either fish or pork at my mum in law's place. Recently, I've started adding wolfberries. If I don't go over to my mum's I'll feed her the veges straight.

I've decided to stop pumping out my milk cuz it just takes too much time at work. I plan to cut down the breastfeeding to once in the evening, at night before bed time and once more in the morning before work. However, I've also decided not to rush the weaning process. I think when Caitlin's developmentally ready, she'll wean herself. So far, we pretty much follow her needs. If she wants more, she'll ask for it. Sometimes, she's just breastfeeding for comfort and will "nibble" rather than really drink her fill. Honestly, I remember fighting so hard to breastfeed her in the beginning; hating it at first. And now, I almost don't want to give it up. I can't believe that I've spent almost 9 months doing it so far.

Work will be tough. Every morning I feel so guilty leaving her for the office. Then at work, there's just so much to be done if I want to do it right. Well, being a stay-at-home mom is not really an option right now so I'll just take it year by year.