Baby is happy, healthy and finally putting on some weight again. Since the doctor's visit a month ago, she's put on 500g to about 8.5kg now. Small for her age, I'm hoping she'll have another growth spurt. Luckily, her head is a normal size and she's average height. I really hope Caity gets her height from her father and not from me.
She was so cute. The minute we walked into the doctor's office, she started crying because she recognised the doctor from our numerous visits in May. She really clung to me for dear life and wouldn't stop crying. Poor thing.
Made use of our effective 1 week break to bring her out. Managed to visit the zoo and the Marina Barrage. Since the flu outbreak started we've been grounded in Singapore. Personally, I probably don't want to risk it either.
Marina Barrage (above)
Zoo (above)Reflection on Bf-ing
I was emailing Rene who's a new mother. She's just starting her breastfeeding journey with Baby Ryan. Well, yes bfing is a journey for me that's still going on.
Let's see. I started with little production the first few weeks, sore nipples and lots of frustration. Then it got better between the 3 to 4th months but by that time I had to start work and hence was pumping even when I had full 9 period days and the only slot I had for pumping the milk was during my recess break. That was tough. By that time I also had an oversupply (slightly) because if I didn't express milk for more than 4 hours, my breasts would get really full like a rock. Also, just at the thought of Caitlin I'd let down. Hence breast pads were essential. Even then, some days they'd be so full that they'd drop into the bin with a heavy thud once I threw them away. Then came all the pressure from MIL to quit once Caitlin hit 10 months because Caitlin was so attached to me not only because I'm her Mommy but because she sees me as a major source of food and comfort. I myself felt worn because she wouldn't give me any peace. It's like a drug addict who needs a fix. The moment I walked through the door she would insist on sticking to me and whining until she got fed. I decided to wean at 12 months and it's been a SLOW SLOW process. Mainly because I don't want to do the cold turkey method and traumatize her. The other side of it was that bfing had become such an important part of our relationship that I knew I myself would miss it once it ended. However, I decided that she has to be weaned because her intake of bmilk was interferring with her intake of solids. There were many times where she'd get so carried away with the bmilk that she wouldn't be hungry for proper food or she'd see me and then lose interest in eating because she'd want the breast.
Now at 14 months, Caitlin's slowly coming round to eating solids and bottle milk and only bfing for comfort. I'm letting go emtionally as well and have had more time to change my focus a little. All in all, I've felt fortunate to stuck in there for so long and had time to bond with my infant in this manner. I mean, many women who want to continue have had their milk supply dry up. I can't say for sure whether bmilk is the wonder food that they say it is. However, Caitlin only fell sick once for the first 8 months of her life. Only when I started cutting back on the bmilk that she fell sick more. So yes, I think all women should be given a medal for breastfeeding. There were many time when I just was so proud of myself for making it this far and I'm still going.
Part of what has helped the weaning process is that Caity has learned how to sleep on her own without the breast in her mouth. So at night, I'll feed her for 5 minutes just for comfort's sake and then pull away (same for naps but only if she asks for it). My milk supply has come down considerably to the point where I don't think it can satisfy her hunger in a single feed anymore. In the middle of the night if she wakes fully she'll want the breast but will similarly be satisfied after 5 mintues and go back to sleep. Sometimes I just ignore her whining and she'll automatically fall asleep on her own. An unexpected behaviour from all this is that she's extra clingy in the day and she won't sleep in the crib on her own. I realise that if I don't spend a lot of time with her during the day, she'll want my physical closeness more in the evening and at night.
Another dear friend continued bfing past 20 months. She too felt it was easier to continue until her toddler no longer needed it. Unfortunately, by then toddlers are more set in their ways and can articluate a lot better making it harder to stop.
I think the day I finally give it up, it will be a sad and happy day but hopefully since I'm weaning so graudually, I won't have any regrets.
