Thank God for family

Kelvin's brother kindly agreed to lend us Ellie's crib while the baby can still fit into it. The understanding is that when they have their second child, we'll transport it back. Oh well, suits me just fine. It's a lovely crib and we didn't have to buy a new one which would have cost us $300 at least. We spent the whole morning there because they also passed us all their old baby supplies and breastfeeding equipment like the electrib pump and sterilizer. That would have cost another $500 to $600. Sigh...thank you lord.

Ellie was relatively well behaved. When we arrived she was colouring a template of a house. Later I found out that this house project was homework. Sigh. Totally pointless homework in my opinion. What's the learning objective? Learn to colour neatly? Anyway, she started getting really nostalgic over all the stuff that was being brought out and kept going "That's mine!"

Kelvin took out his new iTouch (a Chirstmas and Valentine's Day present from me) and showed Ellie the photos I took of her when she was born. We were trying to tell her that she no longer needed all the stuff because she wasn't a baby anymore but a big girl. She'll be 3 in May. I think she was still a little upset but soon cheered up when I told her that she had better get ready to go out so that they could all go and buy Disney On Ice tickets.

Over breakfast Kelvin and I talked about the likelihood that our daughter would turn out to be just like Ellie. It's just that he met a colleague's daughter over the weekend while he had NCC camp duty. She was so much more girl-like compared to our little niece. For me it's not so much that Ellie's tom-boyish. It's more that she can be a handful sometimes because she's so spirited. It's good for her because I'm sure she'll grow up to be very confident and out-going. Not so good for the parents though because at the centre of it all, you still have to teach things like manners and respect.

Kelvin's convinced that our daughter will have a quieter temperment because he was a quiet child. I was both adventurous and contemplative. Well, we'll see.

My hands are starting to feel numb which, might explain why I keep dropping stuff. Woke up yesterday and realized that it's difficult to bend my fingers. Water-retention I suppose. Also, gravity is starting to take it's toll. Starting to feel like it's harder to balance and all of a sudden gravity seems have increased by 20%.

"She's so close"

That's what Kelvin said to me last night after he felt her moving inside my bump. What he meant was that the baby's getting so big that she's pushing up against the surface of my bump. The thing is I can actually see her pushing across my belly. If she kicks I can actually see my bump bounce up. It's like some scene from an alien movie where a parasite lodges itself inside you and it's squirming around trying to break free. Except in this case, I got really excited and just kept staring at my bump hoping she'll keep doing her baby acrobatics. It's very reassuring to feel her move like that.

I've been playing a few key pieces of music that I like to the baby. What I do is plug some earphones into my ipod and walk around with the earphones wrapped around my bump. I did it today on our staff retreat and everyone was like, "wow so hi-tech." It was really strange because the men all felt that I shouldn't play rock music to the baby. When I told Kelvin about it, he just laughed because he's been trying to balance my 'boring tinky tinky music' with 'real' music.
I told everyone that I just play whatever I like. The baby will probably hear a range of stuff anyway because Kelvin plays so much guitar hero and I like folksy type songs with a strong melody and vocals.

I'm getting a bit tired of social situations with large groups of people because EVERYONE will ask "so when's the baby due?" or "is it a boy or a girl?" Argh! I should just put a sticker on my forehead: 28th April is the due date and it's about 99% confirmed it's a girl. The only good thing about staff retreats right now is that I can ask all the women who are mothers about their experiences. I won't go into details but I can say that the stories range from useful information on baby products to blood and gore horrors in the delivery ward.

Still waiting for my face to poof up along with my disappearing ankles. Thankfully it hasn't happened yet. However, you never know. Seriously, I've seen it happen to the slimmest of friends. I'm only about 5 feet tall so usually excess weight shows on my face very fast. I know, I'm vain. At work my kids are starting to realize that I'll be gone soon. Some of them are starting to panic and work hard. I can see that others are sorta giving up. Someone else will have to worry about them. It's cruel I know but I'm only one person and I can't be everything to everyone. This year, it's about bringing a new life forth. I want to enjoy this process. For all I know, I'll only get to do this once.

Oh, another random thought. On Wednesday we walked past a maid agency and since I'll have to get one soon I look out for them now. Well, there was this girl sitting out in front of the shop like some farm animal available for inspection. I felt really sad and wondered how long she had sat there the whole day (coz it was already dinner time) and how long she would have to sit there the next day. I mean why do agencies do that to these girls? Shouldn't the girls be gainfully occupied?

Growing still

This is how my bump looked last weekend. The same day that we visited Dr. Fong. While we were at the Paragon, we picked up one of these at ToysRus:

So useful, I tell you! Kelvin was more than happy to buy it for me because I've been asking him to pick things up for me. Don't know why but I have slippery fingers. Just when I need to not bend down so much, I'm dropping everything.

Like I was telling Serene, I'm getting so big that I feel as if I leave a dent in the mattress when I settle in one position for too long. Then, when I roll over (it takes about a whole minute to do so) I feel as if I'm rolling uphill.

Today we were in Funan having breakfast and the baby started squirming and pushing right under the top of my bump. I made Kelvin sit with his hand over my bump so he could feel her moving. He had a curious expression on his face. I think it's all not real to him yet. It probably won't be until he sees her out in the real world. He says that he hopes our daughter will look more like me than like him because he can't imagine himself with female features. I hope she's not a strawberry shortcake like me.

I've decided that I won't take extra maternity leave. If I do, it's going to affect my bonuses end year and next year. We need the money at this point. Don't feel quite ready yet financially. Part of it is that I have no idea how much a baby will cost. I'm trying to take a frugal approach when it comes to her clothing. Went to one of those Metro warehouse sales at Expo. Bought about 15 pieces of baby jumpers in various sizes (infant to 9 months) all for about $1.50 to $3.00 each. We bought a pram plus car seat set online for about $400; way cheaper than some other travel systems that were over $1000. Kelvin's brother is going to lend us a pram but we still need to buy a changing table. We'll settle the rest during the March holidays. At the moment, we're both still super busy with work.

I really should slow down. At least, I keep telling myself that. I've been getting a little breathless lately and when I climb the stairs, my legs feel as if they're getting a real workout. Also, I'm sleeping in intervals during the night which, means I'm getting less sleep. Feeling more sleepy during the day actually. This past week I've tried to go home early when I can. Part of me feels as if I want time to pass more quickly because I'm terrified of how much bigger I'm going to get. Part of me is still enjoying this squirming and kicking being inside of me. The best part is that she's silent at the moment.

Baby Lim at 31 weeks

Went to Dr Fong's on Saturday. It took quite a while for her to move into position. However, this is a pretty good sonograph photo. You can see her little fingers really well. She's kicking more than ever now. At 1.8kg, I can feel her when she stretches, punches, kicks. An unusual feeling, sometimes painful.

Serious conversation

In the papers one and a half weeks ago: "$64000 for Nursery School". $3200 a month is how much one couple was willing to pay to send their 2 children to one of the best schools in Singapore. This is craziness to me. However, a quick check with my sis-in-law told me that my niece's mid-range nursery fees were a little over $400 after the govt. subsidy for working mothers.

That weekend, Kelvin and I had the serious conversation. The one where I should possibly stop working or work part-time. The thing is, the best person to take care of a child is always the parent. However if I work, I'll have to compromise on time spent with my child. If I stay at home I'll have to figure out a way to make do with less money. Less money for us means less for the child as well. Sigh...what to do? We still haven't asked Kelvin's mom whether she'd be alright with taking care of the baby and the maid the whole week while we're at work. Of course, when the baby is older, she can go to playgroup for a few hours every day.

Had an episode just this week where I thought my degrees had increased. This made me really depressed. Coupled with the fact that my right eye just won't stop tearing. It got pretty bad because I was giddy and couldn't see well at all. Everything looked like I was looking through some sort of haze. It didn't help that Kelvin had to leave me alone for two days to attend his grandmother's funeral in Ipoh. I wanted to be with him but it's considered taboo for pregnant women to attend funerals. So there I was, having dinner at Thomson Plaza all by myself and having to squint to see the menu at Hanz. Finally went to see my eye doctor when Kelvin came back. I took a day off because I just felt so handicapped not being able to see. The doctor told me that my degrees had actually decreased due to the pregnancy hormones. How that happens I don't know. However, it's temporary. Unfortunately, I still have to spend money on a new pair of glasses. Don't know if things will go back to normal but we'll see.