Serious conversation

In the papers one and a half weeks ago: "$64000 for Nursery School". $3200 a month is how much one couple was willing to pay to send their 2 children to one of the best schools in Singapore. This is craziness to me. However, a quick check with my sis-in-law told me that my niece's mid-range nursery fees were a little over $400 after the govt. subsidy for working mothers.

That weekend, Kelvin and I had the serious conversation. The one where I should possibly stop working or work part-time. The thing is, the best person to take care of a child is always the parent. However if I work, I'll have to compromise on time spent with my child. If I stay at home I'll have to figure out a way to make do with less money. Less money for us means less for the child as well. Sigh...what to do? We still haven't asked Kelvin's mom whether she'd be alright with taking care of the baby and the maid the whole week while we're at work. Of course, when the baby is older, she can go to playgroup for a few hours every day.

Had an episode just this week where I thought my degrees had increased. This made me really depressed. Coupled with the fact that my right eye just won't stop tearing. It got pretty bad because I was giddy and couldn't see well at all. Everything looked like I was looking through some sort of haze. It didn't help that Kelvin had to leave me alone for two days to attend his grandmother's funeral in Ipoh. I wanted to be with him but it's considered taboo for pregnant women to attend funerals. So there I was, having dinner at Thomson Plaza all by myself and having to squint to see the menu at Hanz. Finally went to see my eye doctor when Kelvin came back. I took a day off because I just felt so handicapped not being able to see. The doctor told me that my degrees had actually decreased due to the pregnancy hormones. How that happens I don't know. However, it's temporary. Unfortunately, I still have to spend money on a new pair of glasses. Don't know if things will go back to normal but we'll see.

Lai Family reunion dinner

Photobucket Album

Just crossed the 7 month Mark

Well this is the 28th to 29th week. The baby's kicks are getting more interesting. This morning, I felt her turning, pushing and doing the running-man all at 6am. She's active in the early morning and late at night. I'm starting to be able to predict when she's going to kick. I can feel her squirming movements. So I've managed to let Kelvin feel her twice more. That's a grand total of 4 times. I think it's become a little game I'm playing. When she kicks, it's as if she's talking to me already and I want Kelvin to share the experience. In the books it's called "bonding with the bump" for the husbands.

I'm transitioning to more maternity wear now but refusing to wear everything maternity coz it's expensive. Some colleagues say that from behind, I look mostly the same as before. They say that I still look very active for a pregnant woman. I suppose it helped that I was active before the pregnancy. All in all, this has been a very blessed and easy time. Lots of people are really nice (especially the women who say I carry my bump really well) and aside from feeling strained after exerting myself too much, needing to pee all the time and pudgy looking calves and ankles, I'm really feeling good.

Of course there are other minor things like forgetting how big I've gotten, bumping into things, no longer being able to stand close enough to the board to write stuff, calves cramping up in the middle of the night...

I'm trying to remind myself also to keep my temper in check. Work can be frustrating still. I'm trying to let go more and do any scolding I have to do in a calm and pleasant manner. Not easy believe me. However, I think I have to start letting go. Otherwise, this baby is going to end up high-strung and I don't want that. Kelvin helps a lot . We destress when we see each other at the end of the day. He's been really lovely and sweet. I'm so glad that I'm going through all this with him by my side. Of course, if it weren't for him in the first place, I wouldn't be pregnant but still...

still able to wear yoga pants but the tops are from a maternity shop.

This dress (which cost as much as the top above) is from a normal shop but I bought over-sized. Bought it on sale. Hopefully, I'll be able to alter afterwards.

On another note non-pregnancy related, I've been doing some reading on how to raise smarter children. I've come to the conclusion that all mass education systems are fundamentally flawed coz they focus on conformity and limit creativity. This has lead me to start thinking about 1. being more active in our child's mental development and 2. how I can teach creativity. First of all, creativity is not something that can be taught. It's more of a frame of mind, like a blindfold being taken off; something that has to be awakened and then stretched like a muscle. We'll see how it goes. I've got some ideas that I'm going to try out. If it works perhaps I can take a new direction in my professional life that I've been lacking. Been feeling lost as of late.

Update end Jan

It's been over a month since we went to Japan. Kelvin enjoyed himself immensely. Unfortunately, it's too much work right now to upload everything onto the blog and this is supposed to be about the baby anyway.

5+ months pregnant and travelling on foot, bus, train and ferry wasn't easy. It was more the psychological worry though rather than the physical strain. I wasn't as big as I am now. I was just getting over the severe headache and morning sickness of the the previous month. So I ate a lot of Ramen and managed to put on over 2 kilos. Luckily, now that I'm back at work, I've slowed down in the weight gain department. The doctor says I should put on too much weight. Between 1 to 2 kg is a good pace.

Anyway, here I am at about 21 weeks, just past the 5 month mark. This day wasn't as cold as some. The sun was out so I could do without the jacket.

I managed to climb all the way up to the top with my bump. Kelvin was so afraid for me the entire time because all the stairs were really slippery and steep. Kelvin was wonderful. He took really good care of me the entire time. And, he navigated through the complicated subway systems of every city we went to. He was also really good with the Shinkansens. So travel wasn't a real problem. It wasn't even that cold except for when we were in Kyoto and when we went up into the Japanese alps.

This is us in Gion, Tyoko. I balanced the camera on a low wall and made Kelvin pose while I focused. This is at 5pm but it looks like night time already. I remember the time because we were there slightly before 5pm and they had cleared the street of cars so that people could stroll through the shopping district. When the clock struck 5, suddenly the people cleared and cars started coming toward us.

This shot was taken at the imperial palace in Tokyo. Kelvin and I each did one of these but Kelvin's photo came out better (taken by me of course).

There are lots more photos. We did after all spend 3 weeks in Japan. Overall, it wasn't as expensive as we thought it would be. I kept a tight reign on the budget of course. Kelvin really likes Jap culture. We were impressed at how efficient everything was and how polite and orderly the people were. Next time, I'd like to go back and try the onsens.

At the moment, my bump is a lot bigger. I'm now at 28 weeks; about 7 months. I'm beginning to slow down. On saturday, we spent the whole day in Orchard. We went to the doctor's in the morning then we walked to Cineleisure for a MAC course. After that, it was shopping at Tangs. The next day, I could hardly move without feeling like I was going to burst open. So lesson learned, I can't walk around as much. My bump is heavier, I move more slowly now. My feet are swollen. My clothes are all getting tighter. Pretty soon, I'll only be able to wear dresses. However, I still refuse to wear maternity wear that resembles circus tents. I'd rather spend a little bit more money on stuff I won't be ashamed to wear after the delivery.

The baby's kicks are getting stronger. Sometimes it feels like she's banging away on my tummy like a drum. The other day while Kelvin was playing "Virtua Fighter" on his Xbox, she kicked me at two opposite ends like she was doing some flying kick punch combo. Sigh! I worry about how this child will turn out sometimes.

Starting to get really tired at work now. I think I need more rest. Generally, I've settled into the swing of things only to find myself slowing down yet again. I feel this urgency to get stuff done so I don't have to worry about it during my maternity leave. However, I'm getting more tired. I think I'll try to go home soon. Still at work at the moment.

It's beginning to feel a lot like Xmas... weather-wise

Hi!

It's my first post as father of the child... :]
and I'm not even gonna talk about baby... much...
We're in Japan at the moment, enjoying out much deserved break.
It's pretty cold and chilly but not as bad as we expected. It hovers round the 10 degree C plus range... it was 9 whe we landed yesterday.

Jess seems to be doing ok. She was quite tired when we landed and I was quite worried that she would not be able to do much today but she felt much better after a good night's rest.

We've got a big challenge tomorrow... we're gonna have to switch hotels and lug our bags through the metro　try　to make it to Ghibili by 12 noon.

More later... got to go pack now