Caitlin's Man Yue and the aftermath

23rd May, also Kelvin's brithday. We put Caitlin in a pink dress to mark the special occasion. She really looked so cute in the dress although it didn't really keep her very warm. Grandma Dolly arrived to give Caitlin her first ever haircut. Traditionally you're supposed to put the cut hair in a book to signify that she'll grow up to be scholarly. I put the hair in an 'ang bao' and tucked it away in my bible. I hope she'll grow to know God's word later on.

As usual, no one planned to take pictures so I had to do double duty as photographer. Luckily, I remembered my tripod this time so that I could include myself in the photograph.

It was a big party. Over 50 people turned up and very graciously showered us with gifts. We were so blessed. Grandpa Albert generously sponsored the dinner and Grandma Dolly played hostess. There was a huge buffet table with lots of yummy peranakan food that I could not eat (because I was still under 'confinement') but everyone said the food was good. It was special because I got to connect with people again after being couped up for so long.

Caitlin slept through the whole thing while being carried by Aunty Irene, the confinement lady. Plus it was amazing to see my family gather to celebrate the birth of the fourth generation. Everyone wanted to carry her. Dai Gu-jie who was the first to arrive took one look at Caitlin and said, 'Eh. Hen main sou' (looks familiar). San Gu-jie was equally proud to carry Caitlin and seemed to not want to put her down. They marvelled over the fact that she had the Lai family look. Sei Gu-jie said she couldn't believe that she was now a grandaunt and said that it was all my fault for making her feel old. Then she quickily recovered by saying that she was still the youngest in the third generation so it was okay.

Grandpa Albert said although Caitlin might look like me but she'll definitely be tall like her father. Hee Hee.
I almost cried when Ma Ma held Caitlin in her arms. I've always felt that it was important for her to witness the fourth generation in her lifetime. The years that I spent not wanting children were guilty years for me. Ma Ma was the one who constantly (albeit gently) nagged me to start a family. She was the one who dragged Kelvin and I to see a fertility specialist at the Chinese free clinic. Thank God I came around in the end.
Kelvin's parents too were really proud to have another grandchild. Grandpa Albert, after shadowing the confinement lady for one or two hours finally asked to carry Caitlin. It was the first time he had carried a baby this small and Mum was so impressed. She kept saying to Caitlin that she was very lucky.

Here he is all smiles. Even Kelvin said there aren't alot of pictures of his father where he's smiling. What can I say, I take good photographs.

By the time we got home, it was close to midnight. The next day, Aunty Irene would go home and I'd have to take care of Caitlin all by myself. I was already starting to panic and was regretting the fact that I'd neglected to read the parts about infant care in all my baby books. Furthermore, it was not convenient to do any reading because I was so busy feeding Caitlin all day.

The same day that Aunty Irene went home, Caitlin had a growth spurt which was accompanied by lots of fussing and crying. No rest at all for me. Kelvin also relied on me for direction like I knew what I was doing!? I almost had another breakdown. I kept saying that I was suffering from Confinement lady withdrawal. I tried to be brave but deep down I was really afraid that I would somehow screw up and my child would be scarred for life. Eventually, I calmed down enough to get through the growth spurt. Reading up on the internet helped. I also realised that I was breaking down mentally because I was not taking care of myself. I had spent an entire 2 months at home and after playing the role of nappy-changing milk maid 24 hours day after day, it was starting to get to me. So I insisted on going out by myself to just do the things I used to do. At first Kelvin didn't understand why I felt like I needed to 'escape' the house. More on that in a later post. Two weeks on after the Man Yue, I'm feeling a little bit better. However, I'm a long way away from being stable enough to return to work. We'll just have to see.

Growth Spurt?!!

A growth spurt is where the baby feeds very often to get extra milk sometimes hourly. She's also had extra output. We changed her nappy 4 times within 7 hours.

Today, I've been feeding Caitlin hourly since 7am. She's only quiet now because Kelvin has her sleeping on his tummy. Oh, I spoke too soon. Back to work. Moo.

Bath Time

I thought bathing an infant would be easy. Turns out it is. It just takes practice and concentration. Poor Kelvin finds it really difficult because he's afraid he'll hurt the baby. I think we'd better practice together more because studies show that babies who have their fathers bond with them over bath time become more confident individuals. Besides, if I'm nursing the baby and have to do everything else, I won't have time to get clean myself.

Of all the people involved in bath time, Caitlin is the most familiar with how it should be done. She knows enough to stand and squat in the water, when it's okay to kick her legs and when to be still. The main thing is not to get water into her ears or her mouth and to make her feel safe and secure. It's amazing. If she feels like she's slipping or you're grabbing her too hard, she'll wiggle about and grimace.

The whole bath takes about 10 mins at the most but Caitlin really enjoys it. Her eyes open really wide and she'll look all around her and at you. When she gets a little bit older, I'll incorporate some toys for her to play with. I read somewhere that babys are fascinated with liquids. The words for liquids like "milk" and "juice" are amongst the first 10 words that they will learn.
Kelvin's legs are too long and it's hard for him to squat next to the bath tub. In the end I got a stool, turned it upside down and put the bath tub on the stool. The first time he bathed Caitlin, he grabbed her arm so tightly that it turned blue! I think he needs more practice later. In the meantime, I'll have to do all the baths till I'm really familiar with it then I can help him practice.

Here we are. Bath time's over and Caitlin's all clean. Success!

Week 3

Caitlin is 3 weeks old yesterday. We weighed her today with Kelvin stepping on the scale with her first and then without her. The difference was 11 pounds which means, she's now 5kg. No wonder it's getting harder to feed her. She's getting heavy. And I was worried that I wasn't feeding her enough on breast milk.

Oh yeah, still feeding about 12 times a day. I'm starting to lose interest in counting coz in the morning and early evening, it's about every hour for 45 mins which means that I'm feeding her constantly for about 3 hours twice a day. Luckily, I've been reading up online and all this behaviour is normal. That's conforting.

The B-word

I'm used to having my mammary glands co-operate with me in a manner that is convenient to me! Their job up till now was just to sit on my chest and look pretty. Other than that, I'm used to them having a PRIVATE showing every now and again for someone who's not too happy having to share at the moment.

Ever since I've given birth, I've flashed myself in front of nurses, the confinement lady, the maids. My mammaries are SO not used to all this exposure.

Then, there's the other strange emotions of being frustrated with my glands when they don't produce enough milk. They range from guilt to dispair to disappointment. It's like nobody prepared them for this sudden responsibility and they're having a sluggish and reluctant start. All I can say is that if cows were any more intelligent, they'd all go on strike. All this squeezing, pulling and pinching. No wonder most women have lot of sag after having children.

Day 14: I managed to feed Caitlin for more than half of her feedings.
Day 15, yesterday: It was like all of ther feedings except one during the day and one in the middle of the night. However, I'm exhausted and I think I need both more sleep and water. I either expressed milk or fed her 9 times in a 24 hour period. By evening, I could feel a sore throat coming on so I crashed by 10pm. Very hungry too. Hungry and sleepy are not a good combination.

Supposedly by week 6, I can start stretching out her feedings. By then her stomach would have grown a little bit.